Silent Humor

By Jan Michaels

 I admit it .. I LIKE trivia, tho it serves no purpose for me since I can never remember any to bring up in conversation. But still, it is fun, so I have created this list of amazing trivia that I found to be absolutely riveting.

1. Snails can sleep up to 3 years.

Not so amazing actually since I managed to sleep through 6 years of junior high and high school. And when you think about it, what do snails have to do all their lives? Sure, they leave great slime trails and make excellent targets for salt shakers and little boys, but other than that there is not much more to do but sleep after an exhausting run across a sidewalk.

2. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

Until I read this, I was convinced that there was an olive missing from my salad, yet no one would believe me. Now I am vindicated! I am now searching for proof that the airlines have taken one peanut from each bag .. I will keep you posted.

3. An ostriches eye is bigger than its brain.

After reading this, I realized that I know of many people with the same problem! But that is an article about politicians I am working on. For me, it is usually that my eyes are bigger than my stomach…

4. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

Well, I would like to see anyone keep this up long enough to actually lose 150 calories. Now that I think about it, I do NOT want to see…

5. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he does not wear pants.

This is completely understandable.. I mean, who wants to look at a duck with no pants on? Besides, I understand that it is the law for all birds to wear pants in the city limits of Finland.

6. If you pass gas consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

I tried to prove or disprove this, but two things stopped me … I could not stand to look at a bowl of chili after the third day, and my girlfriend threatened to leave me … although it was kinda hard to tell what she was really saying with that gas mask on.

7. In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

Now, this piece of trivia leaves A LOT to the imagination, which is probably a good thing. BUT, I would like to point out, you would have to be pretty limber to get some on those hairs .. nuff said.

8. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

I know this trivia fact is not true because I have gone drinking with my ants several times and I have watched them fall over in several different directions… usually they tend to fall on my uncles tho.

9. The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at night.

I do not know about this fact … I have seen several spiders at night and never once felt compelled to eat one. Though I hear that spider is tasty if barbecued correctly.

10. And now for our final fun trivia fact:

Female Lions do the lions share of the work when it comes to hunting and cub raising … Males tend to sun themselves when not mating over 50 times a day… No wonder the females do all the work.

Jan Michaels is the creator of the Article Friendly Article Publishing Script for php & mysql, and can be found at: Article Friendly Article Friendly is Not Encoded, with tons of options, or try my new Serenity Niche Article Publishing Script, Available with Resell Rights!

How The Art Of The Unspoken Word Can Be Funny

Burn After Reading Adds A New Definition To Insane Comedy In Burn After Reading
By Virgil Morris

 Burn After Reading is wildly funny, but its also very sly and subversive as a piece of filmmaking, and is a spoof of the American way of stupidity, narcissism and paranoia, a shaggy-dog tale set in the spy-vs-moron style. It stars George Glooney, Brad Pitt, John Malkovich, and Francis McDormand.

Clooney has never played it goofier than he does here as Harry, who has been virtually castrated by his successful career woman wife (Elizabeth Marvel), who is always traveling overseas to promote her childrens books. All the while, Clooneys character isn t sure what foods he s allergic to and keeps teetering noisily on the verge of anaphylactic shock with phlem. However, this does not stop Clooney from screwing Malkovich s wife, and for that matter any other woman he can lure into his sex dungeon whenever his own wife is out of town.

Brad Pitt plays Chad Feldheimer, a clueless gym employee with a bizarre streaked hairdo and a toned body continuously in motion. Brad Pitt adds another fantastically quirky character to his resume as a meathead personal trainer and the rest of the cast is wonderful as well. John Malkovich is hilarious and Tilda Swinton plays Malkovich’s wife with heartless acidity that is as funny as it is cruel.

Malkovich is a CIA agent about to be demoted to another branch of the government, with lower security clearance, because of his alcoholism. When his memoirs accidentally falls into the hands of two unwise Washington, D.C. morons when a CD copy of the rough draft ends up on the locker room floor of the Hardbodies fitness center, employees

Frances McDormand basically reprises her role from “Fargo” as a clueless yet determined woman, but the role is not tired.

Interestingly and perhaps ironically, in Burn After Reading the civilians engage in subterfuge with more passion, but no more success, than the so-called professionals. But if you didn’t mind the hit or miss mania of The Hudsucker Proxy, or just find everything these actors do to be fascinating, you’ll easily enjoy Burn After Reading.

Burn After Reading is that rare satirical thriller–a devilish, delicious, diabolically dark, irreverent and insanely funny movie that could only have come from the minds of Joel and Ethan Coen.

However, along with the popularity of the movie came a renewed interest in memorabilia and autographs as collectibles and gifts. So much so that many stores have sold out of the increasingly harder to find items. Not that this is the first time a movie has spawned greater interest in memorabilia and autographs. Movies like The Lord Of The Rings and Pirates Of The Caribbean were great hits at the boxoffice as well as the memorabilia shops. However, the recently released Burn After Reading as well as Get Smart and Sex In The City were not in the same league or category as Lord of the Rings or Pirates but have still created a renewed excitement in memorabilia for collectors and as gifts.

One collector who is well-known in memorabilia collector circles is John White. Who has a very fine collection of movie memorabilia that is not the largest but certainly one of the most interesting since every piece is carefully selected to fit into the collection. His collection is made up of small groups of items. Each group will have a piece of memorabilia from a movie like the new Speed Racer and includes an autograph from numerous actors from the show in a small framed display. In working the collection in this manner he has kept the cost down while quickly building it into a true pleasurable treasure. His most recent focus is on obtaining pieces from both Burn After Reading and Righteous Kill and he is moving quickly to obtain them before the best pieces are bought out.

While there is a not really a bad time to start collecting or giving collectibles as gifts, this time of lowered prices and increase interest makes it a perfect time.

Burn After Reading is that rare satirical thriller–a devilish, delicious, diabolically dark, irreverent and insanely funny movie that could only have come from the minds of Joel and Ethan Coen. Whom audiences can rely on for snappy acting, hilarious dialogue and off-putting amounts of bloodshed, but no one anticipated the increase in interest in memorabilia and autographs the movie generated.

Virgil Morris is an accomplished writer and store owner. For information please contact;

Big Fan Gifts and Collectibles

http://www.bigfangifts.com

The Revolutionary YouTube Explosion Online
By Tyler James Ellison

 What is it that really made YouTube different from other online video sharing websites?

It was the right site, at the right time. At a time when broadband internet is the norm and social networking was beginning to explode on the internet, YouTube gave users a new way to communicate. People now have an outlet for their creativity, any message they want to share, and a way to share information through video online. Combine that with the social networking sites like Myspace or Facebook — that allow users to link to YouTube videos — and YouTube is becoming a pioneer in the way people share information. For the first time, with a simple video camera, anyone can post videos of whatever they want for free.

Founded in 2005, YouTube quickly became one of the hottest sites on the internet. Today the site serves up over one hundred million videos a day. According to the research site HitWise, YouTube can claim over 46 percent of the entire online video market. Considering that site was started by three twenty something techies in Silicon Valley, and then sold to Google for $1.65 billion in late 2006, it is easy to see how the site has started a revolution in the world of online video.

Originally thought up as a video version of the website HotorNot (a pioneer in websites that allowed a user to upload content) YouTube’s founders quickly realized that users were uploading whatever content they wanted. People were uploading videos and linking to them from their MySpace sites. YouTube piggybacked on the explosive growth of the social networking site to become the biggest online video site on the web today; MySpace continues to be the greatest source of hits for YouTube according to HitWise.

It was probably a number of factors, and smart decisions by it’s founders that allowed YouTube such explosive growth. It was one of the first sites that allowed viewers to watch video from the site with no special software. The decision not to place ads before videos also contributed to the sites success. Probably the largest factor though was how easy the site is to use. A user can register, upload their videos, and it is so easy your grandmother could do it. The combination of the easy and edgy feel to the site fueled its growth to where it is today.

Today the site serves up 100 million videos to users worldwide each and every day. From simple messages uploaded by users to professionally produced videos, you can find almost anything on YouTube. Some users have found fame from their crazy antics in amateur skits. A couple of users have even garnered professional television contracts from their YouTube videos. The site really has become a phenomenon in the world of online video, and social networking.

It will be interesting to see how YouTube, and other sites like it, continue to change the way we communicate, the way we advertise, and mostly the way we share ourselves.

Take a look as some extremely funny videos at Videyos.com

silent humor

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